Writing With Tears in My Eyes

Of happiness that is...

What started as a hypothetical “what if” conversation in a Hong Kong bar late last year, finally became reality today.

Let me back up for a moment and explain.

I have been an absent father for much of my children’s lives. It’s complicated and is the single biggest regret of my life and also 100% my fault.

For years, I continued to put my career first and while sparing you all the gory details, the end result was through a combination of fate and circumstance, my two boys grew up in England while I spent the past 15 years living and working in Hong Kong.

Believe me when I say, that airline and hotel elite status is a meaningless pursuit when you look back and consider what really matters in life, and how short it is.

If only I knew then, what I know now.

Young and dumb.

I have been fortunate. Life hasn’t been bad, and I have still been able to see my boys for a few weeks a year, often when we manage to get together for our “boys on tour” vacations to some incredible locations around the world.

My coping mechanism thought was to focus on giving them the very best memories that I could, even if we had limited time together, and I am proud that they have grown up as truly global citizens.

Thankfully, we are in the age of the internet and for almost every day of those 15 years we have been chatting online, texting and simply making each other laugh.

We are all incredibly close and have always made the very best of what time we did have together.

But in the blink of an eye, my two boys have now grown up to become men themselves, living life to the full, complete with shaved heads, beards and tattoos.

I am grateful to have been a young parent and still don’t consider myself old, but probably too old to make a major career course direction and relocate again.

When out of the blue, the planets aligned and a strange chain of events set in motion which has led us now to where we are today.

An understaffed department at my company presented an unexpected opportunity for my job-seeking youngest incredibly holding the perfect qualification skill set, making for a simple decision all round.

After a few months of back-and-forth, applying for a visa, yesterday, the day finally arrived.

11 hrs and 45 min later, he landed in his new home, Hong Kong to begin his very own expat journey.

To say that I feel grateful is an understatement.

The anticipation of the time together and the adventures that we will have over the coming months is mind-blowing for me.

But now, I have been given a second chance as a father to become a father once more.

It’s a second chance that I will not waste nor will I waste the opportunity to share my learnings with him about how to thrive and not just survive an expat life but also how to avoid the mistakes that I made.

Lessons for my expat son.

I had all but given up hope to live close to them again before retiring and then I woke up to this view this morning and felt blessed.

A new dawn.